I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Randomize
