I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
