I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
