Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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