dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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