No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
