is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
