She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
