i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
