How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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