Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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