so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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