Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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