it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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