my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Randomize
