i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
