The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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