I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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