My liver just broke up with me...
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
