What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
