sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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