guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Randomize
