I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
