She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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