Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
