i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
All I want is dick and wine.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
