She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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