if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Life is so much better after having sex.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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