the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
