That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I'm at about main and main street
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
