you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
