I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
