i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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