You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
