So drunk its hurt
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
