Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
