Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
