I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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