I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
