Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Randomize
