I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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