Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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