Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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