took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
