dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
