After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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