He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
