she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
