can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
