Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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